The Important Thing Is I Was Wearing An Onion On My Belt, Which Was The Style At The Time

I'll tell you a tale of a magical fox
And his magical shoes and his musical socks
And his whimsical friend, a rabbit called Phil
Who wears a bow-tie which he bought from the Mill.
It was 10% off and made out of pure silk
With a topping of crumble and carnation milk
And hundreds and thousands, and marzipan fruit,
And a few of those small silver balls to boot
With ball bearings mixed in for a frisson of danger
Like licking the earlobes of a total stranger.
Last time I did that I was stabbed with a knife
And that's when I decided to move up to Fife.
It's green here, and Scottish, and full of nice things
Like baubles with tartan and emerald rings,
Deep-fried, of course, because that's how they like it,
Assembled, by hand, from a mulberry pie kit.
Andrew keeps giving me lines about food,
He must be in a typically hungry mood.