The day had started badly for the Pope -
Caught buttering a stolen antelope
And splashed across that day's Vatican Star
Was the scoop that the Pope decked someone in a bar.
For the Catholic Church 'twas a PR disaster
When it turned out the Pope was really the Master.
He was evil and mental and played by John Simm
(No other actor could quite portray him).
Suddenly it transpired he can kill you with lightning
And what had been a boring day turned quite exciting
As I sidestepped the lethally charged forking ions,
I was mauled by a pride of starvation-fuelled lions
Who left me alone when they saw I was ill
Leaving flowers and grapes upon my windowsill.
Happily though, I recovered quite soon
(Unless you believe that lying bastard Geoff Hoon
and his partner in crime, the damnable Harman,
the tortoise, the hare, the Queen and the barman.)
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