A Birthday Poem for Andrew

Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!
It said it in a poem so I know it must be true.
This day is your birthday, and happy it must be,
Just make sure you don’t get so excited you wee
For now you’re a grown up you must stay composed
Even when circumstances aren’t what you supposed;
So if you open a present and find a dead rat,
Simply wear it as a party hat!
The day will fly by in a wild haze of joy
The world will shout "Watch Out, Excitement Ahoy!"
And when you get home you’ll be properly tired
But fear not! for your birthday has not yet expired
There’s still time to eat party rings, jelly and cake
There’ll be Cadbury Fingers too, make no mistake.
After all of that stuff you’re sure gonna be ill
You’ll spew and you’ll chuck and you’ll vomit until
You long for the sweet, sweet release of the grave.
Eternal rest is the ending you crave.
The tone of this poem’s become quite macabre,
So I’ll magic it happier: abracadabra!