Laureate Schmaureate

O waxy man, O waxy man,
How lovely is your frying pan?
You've got the cash for good cookware
You earned it at last year's book fair
But that was before you forgot how to read
After which it became very taxing indeed.
It got slightly easier two ours in,
Especially with earplugs to cancel the din.
In fact it was peaceful, and reasonably quiet,
So I recommend that one day soon you try it
Unless you're in the mood for something more raucous
Like a fiery address at a subversive caucus
In that case you'd better call George Galloway
Though he often responds in a most shallow way
So he won't be much use if you don't stroke his ego.
He'll just mope about and go wherever we go.
And who needs a man with such lack of direction?*
This poem is amazing. Who needs Andrew Motion?

*It should be noted that this was misread as 'devotion'.